Last of the Pan

What's that? More Captain you say?

Well here it is, my last post of Japan. Drink it in.

Ok that's enough. Greedy.

I can't really think of what to say to sum up Japan so err my suggestion is toread the previous posts then mail me a summary, which I can put here and claim I wrote it. Everyone wins. Except you. But yeah its awesome, you should visit sometime.





A few final actives have involved buying various trendy idiot garments, eating lots and going to a manga exhibition. The show is basically for fans who write their own manga's based on original characters or stories. This was a whole other level to the geekdom compared to the toy festival and
it was huge.

After getting there we ended up being sucked into an endless cycle of people walking around the exhibition hall with seemingly no purpose (in life). This continued for a good hour or so when we spied some/hundreds of cosplayers and duly tried to take pictures only to be told off - not sure why, surely that's the point? But anyway after this setback we tried to find out where the cosplay show was being held only to be directed back around the conveyor belt of people, which was about the time we sacked it off and went home disappointed, with only one suitcase full of gay toddler manga.

Managed to get a long distance photy of the cosplayer queue festival. I love Ronald McD and the guy in the robot suit, brilliant.














Till next time when I'll be knee deep in Aussies.

Again.

Cotton buds but branded with Takoyaki (octopus balls) on them because this is the food Osaka is famous for so why not turn those boring old cotton buds into a funky souvenir for your loved ones? I brought 4 boxes.


















Neckface graf I spotted. With my face, mostly my eyes.

The Captain

...after regaling a someone with a description of 'The Captain' - one of the strangest, most repulsive, yet strangely intriguing characters I ever had the fortune to meet/touch/laugh at (point of note - he had the clammiest hands I ever did shake, ergh) whist on holiday with the lads in stock/spockholm I had the urge to draw him once again. So that's exactly what I spent Monday doing. Might change the background a bit but you get the idea...actually this is a far more surly and brooding Captain than the man we came across, think its cause I just saw Dark Knight (banger! Oh Heathy! Why Heathy? I loved you Heathy...) and had to reinvent him all gritty like.




















A couple of sumo based things to look at with your eyes.

So, in light of my recent trip to backpacker island (Laos) I decided to knock up some comics about the 'highs' (eh? It's gonna be a hit already) and lows of backpacking. I hadn't counted on my own ineptitude at doing anything remotely complex or for that matter my
ineptitude at doing anything remotely simple such as writing legibly. All of which meant the process took ages but here it is in all its half-baked glory. New issue should be out in 2012


Ok, been to Laos to visit biglad Ben. Great, cheap food and nice relaxing atmosphere in Vientiane, the capital but not much by way of sights to see, which works out perfect if your lazy like me (in case anyone had forgotten). We hung out there for a few days, I met Ben's newest s

election of aussie mates, ate the local specialties (deep fried snail, duck chin. Do ducks even have chins?), got a back massage by an old man while peeing in the urinals of a restaurant - the done thing apparently, pure service. The next step is clearly a shoe shine whilst you shit.

After this we headed north and joined the well trodden backpacker trail, did a bit of hiking (Reebok definitely didn't have rainy season hiking in mind when they made pumps), some kayaking and caving all interspliced with various 'gapper' encounters along the way. The only disappointment was the absence of tubing due to bad weather. Somehow Laos is making its fame with travelers due to the activity of getting battered in a rubber ring and floating down a river, so much so that people talk about it as the reason to visit Lao (italics, bet you never thought you'd see them crop up round here). Naturally being one of these people this was a massive blow for me and ruined the holiday.

Bennan and me showing off our dubious kayaking skills and giving props to the infamous SM BIP (see bennan blog)....






















Back in Japan and I've been knocking around Kansai for the last week, hitting up Kyoto and Osaka and getting my sightseeing on and had my first capsule hotel experience, verdict is their awesome but you have to pay for the porn which is an obvious disappointment.
































It may not be used pants but ties in a vending machine, brilliant. Who needs a tie that urgently?

Welcome to cat hell

Well that's not what I thought at first. Nekobukuro - Cat's House runs on the basic concept that every once in a while a person just wants to hang out in a room full of kittens, playing, petting and frolicking with them to your hearts content. Upon discovery that a petting zoo for cats existed and that it not only existed but existed near me was, well like someone telling you there's a room full of cats down the road.

Happy as beans we set off but when we got there it turned out to be one of life's great dissapointments, like discovering backhair for the first time. Far from being bursting at the seems with kittens there was 7 or 8 cats lolling about doing their best to avoid being petted by the streams of people that inexplicably turn up. I suppose its too much of a good thing, sure every cat likes a damn good pat every now and then but clearly not all day, every day.












David trying to coax a fresh victim in a for some hot petting action.

So after chasing cats around for 20 minutes and then petting them when they relucantly concide there isn't any escape, we left before the cats depression could dampen our spirts further. The day wasn't a complete loss as we hit up this ramen shop famous for inventing the style of having noodles and soup separate and then dipping the noodles into the soup. Its owned by this awesome old guy who hangs outside on the stoop yarning with the sizable queue of customers waiting. He was going to retire and close the place down a few years ago but a loyal customer stepped up to become his protégé and take over the kitchen.

Other activities this week involved eating a burger off the floor and a trip to Nikko, to visit some temples and remind myself what nature looks like. However, being an urban trendy an all I don't really need to know. What's a tree anyway? Pretty much just a shit lamppost...














This guy in red is such a fucking pimp


















Decided to mess with some of the smoking posters from my last post. Also whilst I was on the topic knocked up a smoking valentines card and there's also some other rubbish here too.

Smokers Style

I'm a big fan of these smoking manners posters that appear on trains. They are designed to give Jonny Smoker a nudge to mind his manners and not cram fags down the mouth of the next small child he sees. After much research (writing down the website address on the poster) I came across the archive of posters which is here;

If clicking your mouse proves too much of an effort here are some of the choice picks, think I might get the 'passing wind' tattooed on my back. Seeing as I'm on the topic here are a couple of great no-smoking signs too.....

Assorted video treats

I own a robot

That's it really. I went to a toy show, saw some nerds (damn nerds, hate them so much. Almost as much as I hate grebos) and became the proud owner of a snazzy robot toy. Inter-changeable hands, 4 different helmets and 2 jetpacks is there anything it can't do? No, well except love.

Bow down before his plastic glory.


















Started my job teaching people how to speak English super good, already pretty sure I've spelt some words wrong in lessons but fuck it who's going to find out eh?

Tune in next time when I'll probably have been fired.






A 'toy' that should have probably been purchased but cost way more than 20 mighty robots. How and why this exists is a mystery but it does. Possibly part of a war criminals action figure range given away with happy meals.


















Work in progress, needs more arse hair I think.

Bonjour mon frére's, blogness coming at you straight outta my brand new computy box. Yeah that's right, I own a computer now, deal with that AND its an overpriced mac. Bosh! Back of the net, more than Terry could manage EH EH? Topical footy jokes, nothing can stop me now.

Well now we've got the formalities out the way, I'll let you know what's going on in my slice of life. I'm all set up in now Tokyo after all sorts bloody mental adventures of epic (mild) proportions, that might make for a mildly amusing anecdote. Not a good one, probably about the quality you'd tell your hairdresser to avoid the awkward silences or maybe if you were in a taxi stuck in traffic and felt the urge to talk to the driver or you really didn't like someone and wanted them to stop talking to you. Y'know, those kind of anecdotes, shit ones.


So managed to lock myself out of my room today. Twice. Not only was I provided with 3 key cards to start with in an effort to stop this event occurring, I was also issued 3 new key cards on my first lock out and decided to celebrate this by locking myself out again. I'm now the proud owner of 7 key cards, if I lock myself out again I think I'll give up living and take up being a corpse full time but make sure its an OPEN COFFIN!! ay? hahahahahahaaaaarrgggh, god I just threw up. Anyshrew I can't really be arsed I regale you with a play by play account of what I've been up to since the last post cause that was a while ago and you probably can't be arsed to read it anyway. Instead I've devised a rudimentary summary system called 'bullet-points', which I fashioned out of some twine and an old boot.

- Went on a ferry for 2 and a half days, ate lots of cup noodles. Felt ill when I got off.

- Saw a dolphin in a hat, spinning 720's and all kinds of shit I didn't realise they could do. Dolphins mouths weird me out.
- Had a BBQ by a river in Gifu, scenery coming out of the clappers, wherever they are.

- Got shouted at on a bus for being on the phone, twice.

- Brought a laptop, got patronised by the staff but had the last laugh cause I thought he was a wanker. Take that 'Tony' from the apple store.

- Went to Kamkura to see a giant Buddha, saw the said deity then went to beach. For some reason there are hundreds of hawks at this beach, circling menacingly for any opening to snatch up an unsuspecting sausage dog wearing skinny jeans and a pashmina.

-Went to an amusement park by Mt Fuji, awesome roller coasters but missed the Horror Hospital ride cause it closed, tis a shame cause its supposed to be messy pants scary. Got a bus there, didn't get shouted at.

-Went to sumo. Pretty cool if you like looking at fat men's arses, turns out I do.

-Every week we steal a massive bag of thrown out donuts from Krispy Kreme. I've probably eaten about 40 in the last 2 weeks, help me.

Check that for some low-fat bloggery. The other news is that I now have a job in Tokyo, so I'm not just mooching about with no purpose (although it doesn't start for another week so yes, actually that's exactly what I'm doing). Nothing for it now but to swing down to everyones favorite ridiculously trendy district 'cat street' (I didn't just make that up, apparently it is called that but actually I may have just made it up, can't remember. Stop bothering me.) and buy some overprices garments originally meant for toddlers and/or the Tour de France. Never thought I'd see the day when I could walk around cat street without staring at people that look like Barbie dressed as Pikachu made of sweets molded into the shape of a small girl. The guys are basically the same but with pointy shoes several meters long. I fear the same apathy is going to set in with stupid dogs wearing hot pants and the like. If that happens I'll know its time to leave because I'll have become everything I've ever hated.

Also, in an effort to come to terms with the prospect of never seeing beloved Darrel again and I'm toying with the idea of making some Darrel based comic strip which may or may not appear depending on if I stop watching internet porn for more than 5 minutes. Most likely it'll be an epic 9 volume space-opera chronicling the Darrel's from every universe uniting to stop the Fat Ross' from every universe taking over the cosmos and marrying the most beautiful being in existence Mr.Wak.

That or like 3 panels with his pants falling down or some shit.

Big Buddha plus old Japanese guy. Man I love the old man styles out here, makes me wish I was 60, Japanese and had the panache to pull off a look like that. Alas one can only dream...


















Some drawings of stuff and things.

Goodbye snow, hello backpain, hermit crabs and hermit crabs with backpain.

Was gonna get my blog on massive stylee but instead decided to flap around trying to sort out places to live and potential jobs. Predictably I achieved nothing in either field.

Anyho the haps is that we've ditched the snow and aussies and headed daawn saaath to the Okinawa island chain to catch some awesome rays. Full update will come soon but mostly we've been, complaining about back pain from camping, talking in a Mura voice, creating elaborate hermit crab olympics and err well that's it....OR IS IT????

Yes, yes it is.

..Oh wait no its not, found this under the sofa, next to the crab in jodhpurs.



Well the snow kind of petered out in good old Niseko. From the non stop powder days of Jan and Feb, March brought barely any new snow and so apathy started to set in, especially cause the parks weren't that interesting or well looked after. So after much hassle with trying to ship snowboard bags back to the UK {you can't buy the way, unless your willing to pay the price of a flight for shipping. You may as well buy a one way ticket for Mr Bagley of Baggington and dress you bag in a shirt and tie and stick him on the plane. At least he gets a meal and a movie that way but make sure you get the extra legroom seats cause he isn't that flexible, being a bag and all.} we set off on our merry way to Okinawa off to the southwest of Japan, which promised tropical climates and sandy beaches. We arrived in Naha, Okinawa's capital city and the only available beach has a massive flyover in front of it. The city was quite cool but we didn't stay too long there and soon invested in a ferry 400km south to Ishigaki which is a bit less hectic. However, not before I swooped up a saucy hairkatto for the tropical island look, dropping into my local 24hr salon I was treating to various ice coffees and massages from a crack team of hair management specialists, while the J-Cut the shit out of my hair. Unfortunately no photo evidence but there were points, flicks and swoops as far as the eye could see, I've never been so aerodynamic. The other bonus of being down here is that due to American influence, A&W root beer is in fruitful supply down here. Ben and I have been suppin' our little hearts out drinking 4 root beers in a row, then having and root beer comedown for the rest of the day.

The ferry down south and ended up with us getting smashed. Ben and Nick (another Nick, not me. Although I could start writing in the 3rd person...hmm he thought, thoughtfully), thoroughly sun burnt from a day beating small children at football on flyover beach ended up shirtless. We decided to raid the ferries booze supply and ended up with Ben climbing a tower thing in the middle of the ferry, falling off and smashing his shoulder. Cultural ambassadors.














When we got to Ishigaki, we've mostly been camping on the beach involving some terrible nights of sleeping and crippling backpain, followed by days of hosting crab olympics which, involves putting hermit crabs through rigorous Kypton Factor style competitions but it usually falls apart at the arithmetic part. In fact, there's supposed to be these massive land crabs which look several nightmares rolled into a shifty sideways beast, unfortunately no sightings as yet (I suspect the only people to see them are probably dead). Did see a post to stop littering showing some of the biglad crabs using buckets as houses, brilliant not sure why that makes you stop littering...

When backpain becomes critical, we've broken up camping with some nights in hostels. The first being run by a nice but intrusive old couple who insisted we call them Granny and Grandpa, Granny was pretty full on and definitely made a pass at Ben on at least one occasion. So after being scared off by Granny we stayed in a rowdier hostel downtown and have been hanging with the biglads there. Its coming to the end of our time here and everyone going/gone their separate ways, Ben is off to Taiwan and the Philippines, Brooke is going back to Naha, Nick (not me) has already left for Spain and Nick (me) still doesn't really have a plan. Prob going to Nagoya to stay with a friend for a bit, then debating whether to get a job here or come back to the Engerland for summer. Best get cracking with those plans, instead of spending hours writing about crabs and how I've got no plans.....ahem.

And I'm away, like a bee in a wetsuit....

ciao (air kiss, air kiss, headbutt)