Fat Ross and Other Short Stories

Festive greetings to all you blogheads out there. Apologies for my tardy blogging of late, it has been hard finding the time to sit down and sift out some rubbish from my thinkbox but not to worry the time is now upon us....

The owner of our shoddy 'company' (NOASC or Niseko Outdoor Adventure Sports Club, apparently aka Not Officially A Ski Company) has now arrived and after much build up of people referring to him as 'fat Ross' he more than lives up to his name by looking like a giant baby with grey hair. Inexplicably he turns out to be some sort of outdoor adventure god, used to be a sponsored skier/snowboarder, best rafting guide in Hokkiadio, climbing prodigy, etc, etc. All this with the obvious handicap of having no idea to run a business.

But its not all bad, our company does give us some benefits we wouldn't have in other normal, well run companies.

1. We only work part time (welll sort of, although we appear to be constantly on call for any job no one else can be arsed to do) which gives us a lot more riding time than we'd have anywhere else. Also they take us as part of training on various backcountry trips, like on boxing day where we got taken cat skiing on a mountain right on the coast called Iwanai. We had to help out clearing some of their runs of small trees so we each got given a shankin' knife and the got cracking stabbin' up nature for a bit. But after a bit of defacing nature we got some good riding in.

2. Our company has more Japanese staff than foreigners. Now most of you probably assume this would be the case anywhere round here BUT you're forgetting Niseko is actually in Melbourne and as such most ski schools are more aussie than man.

However, this can also be a bad thing as it means you are almost constantly out of the loop on the lads 'banter' not to mention where you are supposed to be or what you are supposed to be doing. On the other hand we have a rowdy group of Japanese bro's to teach messy rudeboy Landan slang to and we get the local knowledge your we wouldn't otherwise. The other day we went out for a staff meal and drinks which was awesome. After a hotpot thingy (forgotten the name but it was made of all intestines 'n stuff, sounds rubbish, tastes awesome) we were given some small energy drinks*, which everyone swears is the best hangover cure since not drinking then its straight into a good old fashioned pub crawl complete with tequila, a 50 Cent lookalike and a healthy amount of shouting.

*p.s. they don't really work but hey I enjoy the novelty and we've taken to drinking them before we go out all the time now.

35 Cent, in all his glory. A few days later I saw him snow shoveling, wearing the same glasses...

3. Access to vans (already had more than one incident of almost crashing due to careless skidding) is a valuable bonus as is the warehouse and although is out of town is laden with prime objects to make a mini park out of. Whistler bro's will be pleased to hear that Lost Lab Japan Edition is well underway and so far has a kink, straight rail and a C rail as well as a saucy drop/kicker.

So that's that J~life at the mo, Ni-San aka older brother is arriving ce soir so he can look forward to brotherly naked baths the likes of which haven't taken place since we were toddlers. Happy days.

Paper Mario and Darrel updates

Paper Mario.

Has been seen around numerous times since my last entry but with minimal interaction. She hangs out in the bar where our other NOASC buddies work a fair bit but mostly on nights we aren't there (strange...?). On crimbos eve she was there and Ben refused to talk to her. Opting instead to go over the the girls house over the road and watch clips of Jehst freestyles on youtube, on his own. I understand his viewpoint in that basically everyone he knows was pressuring him to get some paperass when really she's so shallow she's 2-dimensional.

Yessssss, I totally made a funny.

Did you see that?

Yeah you saw.

Other papermation is that she has a taller, more boring sister who we wittily named Luigi. However I'm pretty keen to find someone to fulfill the role of Bowser, mainly so I can talk about them constantly but more on that later on when we have named the said person.

Darrel.

I kinda feel sorry for the little guy, he does mean well but he's just a massive arse. He has taken to sucking up to fat Ross loads and also keeps nominating us for more work under the illusions that we actually like work and are well keen to do as much as we can instead of y'know snowboarding 'n stuff. The two most classic Darrel moments of the last weeks have been;

a) Being caught coming out of the toilet in the girls house with Georgina's laptop, to which he said 'there's no wireless connection in there'. Phew! Threw us off the sent with that one ay D-Man?

b) Constantly saying to us that when he is teaching Asian customers to ski that the 'just don't have the strength in their legs for skiing'. Haven't quite worked out the best response for this yet so at the moment I just don't bother.

'Hello, I'd like a ski lesson please'

'I'm sorry. You're a nice guy, I like you buuut you're just too asian to learn how to ski....'

Right well I'm all out of material and it wasn't exactly A-grade to start with, so I'd like to play out with this; a video of your friends and mine, the infamous stupid dogs of Yoyogi park, Tokyo.

Enjoy,

Mukku

x

Warehouse livin'




















Bennan Bro'ing out on the pimpmoblie

Ben showing how small Japanese people are
















Bit of scenery innit?