Billy Blog: Shreddin' and the bits inbetween.

Bonjour, in Niseko (snowboard resort) now and internet access has been fairly patchy for the last week or so due to vague accommodation situations. Since our last sit down we left Tokyo and headed up north to Sapporo - the capital of the Hokkaido district, despite the best efforts of the Tokyo rush hour tube to see that we didn't make it (fortunately being a Laaandaaner my innate tube wisdom saw us through/had nothing to do with it).

Sapporo is a fairly modern city and for anyone who's been to North America its very similar to American cities in its structure, but it doesn't have much by way of sites so we didn't stick around very long. After our cutting comments about fellow hostelites I think the world was teaching us a lesson by putting us in a deserted and totally run down hostel where we barely saw anyone the whole time we stayed there. That said it did give Ben and me a chance to practice our Onsen skills in peace. Onsens are Japanese public baths (generally hot springs where available) where its mandatory to be naked except for a tiny towel you carry about with you, there's quite a few rules to adhere to, not to mention getting your rat out in front of a bunch of Japanese businessmen. Anyroad out, the hostel had its own 'onsen' i.e. a disgusting public bath which would be a good setting for a porno if you had about 10p to make it with. Cause we had no other patrons in the hostel this gave us free reign of the filth bath and vital practice before the main event(s) but on the down/up side it essentially boiled down to us taking a bath together, naked. Surprisingly we took to it pretty fast and now have clocked up mucho naked time together, seeing Ben's cock isn't even a challenge anymore, I'm so over it.

While we're on the topic of bathroom manner I should probably discuss the toilets here.

They rule.

Not only do you get a heated seat for those cool winter months but there are 3 settings for a good old cleanup when you're done. If you are ever feeling down all you need to do is have a poo and press one of the 3 buttons for a spray up the bum which leaves you laughing your arse off (eh, eh?) for a good 5 minutes.

So after bathing and pooing a lot we got the train from Sapporo to Niseko which was all pretty like and covered in snow, lovely. At present things are pretty vague with the job and accommodation, in that we don't really have much to do workwise right now apart from shoveling snow and putting together our accommodation, which as it happens is a warehouse about 3km out of town in the middle of nowhere. It doesn't look too bad but means we'll have to drive everywhere, which could be an issue considering how bigger a lads we are and how much we love the flappin' beerios innit? That said we will most likely just make the warehouse an edgey shoreditchesque ravebox and ship in everyone's favorite techno DJ's plus a mountain of ket, let the party come to us. bosh.

Sharing this venue/storeroom with us is another of the staff where we work who is an aussie guy by the name of Darrell who is an army survival man on the sexy side of 40. We speculated about him being a rapist before he arrived (after seeing a mugshot), then after meeting him briefly decided he was the greatest man ever, then after spending an evening with him became disillusioned due to his constant talking, tendency to knowitallism and refreshing racism. Darrell, Darrell, Darrell...

Everyone else is pretty cool, and the riding/snow is awesome with a lot of scope to have a badass crew of Japanese brosefs.

So all said and done we are still trying to find our feet a bit in the resort as well as gaining the trust of some of our Japanese co-workers so they can dispel the many mysteries surrounding our various encounters we have had which end in 'Japanese only, Japanese only!'. So far our conclusions on these places is that they are some sort of role-playing hotel, where after a hard day's work salarymen go and relax in their favorite fantasy situation, sexy school teacher, saucy interview or just getting wanked off in a bathroom. Who knows? I'll tell you who - Japanese people and they ain't talking. But not to worry Ladlock Holmes is on the case. Mystery solving AWAYYYYY.

I'll leave you with this amazing encounter - Its all going off the chain in this bar called Wild Bill's. Smashed, 18 year old aussies everywhere, so much so that girls are using the men's toilets (n.b. these are labeled 'ladies' and 'gentlemen, remember this.) Ben is queuing for the gentleman's toilets which is currently occupied by a girl. Whilst chatting to other toilet-enthusiasts a girl emerges from the ladies toilet, to which Ben says:

'Shall I use the Ladies or shall I wait and be a Gentleman about it?' {raises eyebrows}

Aussies stare at him for a bit, then resume their conversation (sans Ben).

errm...bye.

Hungry for more? Can't wait until the next exciting installment? come on down to Ben's blog for fun frolicks and sexytimes at www.mytb.org/bennan

Bennan, Blogging his tits off.