Billy Blog

Bonjour mon frére's, blogness coming at you straight outta my brand new computy box. Yeah that's right, I own a computer now, deal with that AND its an overpriced mac. Bosh! Back of the net, more than Terry could manage EH EH? Topical footy jokes, nothing can stop me now.

Well now we've got the formalities out the way, I'll let you know what's going on in my slice of life. I'm all set up in now Tokyo after all sorts bloody mental adventures of epic (mild) proportions, that might make for a mildly amusing anecdote. Not a good one, probably about the quality you'd tell your hairdresser to avoid the awkward silences or maybe if you were in a taxi stuck in traffic and felt the urge to talk to the driver or you really didn't like someone and wanted them to stop talking to you. Y'know, those kind of anecdotes, shit ones.


So managed to lock myself out of my room today. Twice. Not only was I provided with 3 key cards to start with in an effort to stop this event occurring, I was also issued 3 new key cards on my first lock out and decided to celebrate this by locking myself out again. I'm now the proud owner of 7 key cards, if I lock myself out again I think I'll give up living and take up being a corpse full time but make sure its an OPEN COFFIN!! ay? hahahahahahaaaaarrgggh, god I just threw up. Anyshrew I can't really be arsed I regale you with a play by play account of what I've been up to since the last post cause that was a while ago and you probably can't be arsed to read it anyway. Instead I've devised a rudimentary summary system called 'bullet-points', which I fashioned out of some twine and an old boot.

- Went on a ferry for 2 and a half days, ate lots of cup noodles. Felt ill when I got off.

- Saw a dolphin in a hat, spinning 720's and all kinds of shit I didn't realise they could do. Dolphins mouths weird me out.
- Had a BBQ by a river in Gifu, scenery coming out of the clappers, wherever they are.

- Got shouted at on a bus for being on the phone, twice.

- Brought a laptop, got patronised by the staff but had the last laugh cause I thought he was a wanker. Take that 'Tony' from the apple store.

- Went to Kamkura to see a giant Buddha, saw the said deity then went to beach. For some reason there are hundreds of hawks at this beach, circling menacingly for any opening to snatch up an unsuspecting sausage dog wearing skinny jeans and a pashmina.

-Went to an amusement park by Mt Fuji, awesome roller coasters but missed the Horror Hospital ride cause it closed, tis a shame cause its supposed to be messy pants scary. Got a bus there, didn't get shouted at.

-Went to sumo. Pretty cool if you like looking at fat men's arses, turns out I do.

-Every week we steal a massive bag of thrown out donuts from Krispy Kreme. I've probably eaten about 40 in the last 2 weeks, help me.

Check that for some low-fat bloggery. The other news is that I now have a job in Tokyo, so I'm not just mooching about with no purpose (although it doesn't start for another week so yes, actually that's exactly what I'm doing). Nothing for it now but to swing down to everyones favorite ridiculously trendy district 'cat street' (I didn't just make that up, apparently it is called that but actually I may have just made it up, can't remember. Stop bothering me.) and buy some overprices garments originally meant for toddlers and/or the Tour de France. Never thought I'd see the day when I could walk around cat street without staring at people that look like Barbie dressed as Pikachu made of sweets molded into the shape of a small girl. The guys are basically the same but with pointy shoes several meters long. I fear the same apathy is going to set in with stupid dogs wearing hot pants and the like. If that happens I'll know its time to leave because I'll have become everything I've ever hated.

Also, in an effort to come to terms with the prospect of never seeing beloved Darrel again and I'm toying with the idea of making some Darrel based comic strip which may or may not appear depending on if I stop watching internet porn for more than 5 minutes. Most likely it'll be an epic 9 volume space-opera chronicling the Darrel's from every universe uniting to stop the Fat Ross' from every universe taking over the cosmos and marrying the most beautiful being in existence Mr.Wak.

That or like 3 panels with his pants falling down or some shit.

Big Buddha plus old Japanese guy. Man I love the old man styles out here, makes me wish I was 60, Japanese and had the panache to pull off a look like that. Alas one can only dream...


















Some drawings of stuff and things.